What the hell do i want from me?? what do i think i will do in the rest of my life. Everything from now on seems like they are killing me softly, and if I think better, they realy are.Why? why could i not put my feet on the ground?Who is the one wich keeps me away from happiness, and why is it doing this?I believe that person must be me.Must be the way i am going on with my life, must be that lack of courage wich i am showing sometimes.Or that ego that i believe not in me.Sometimes i Know i am wrong, but maybe i am hoping not to feel such bad.Why can i have some many good things in my life and still feel so damn bad?Few far away things could make me happier now, and i believe i will never encounter those things, because i am scared, i am scared to do what it takes to find and obtain them.I am starting to know me, and sometimes i am scared of what i find there.I am scared because i ain’t good.Damn! I just want to know my purpose here, and once i know it to start feeling good, but i believe even after that i won’t be feeling better.I am very weak when it comes to those kind of things, that happiness wich all of us search it, and i dont wanna say that i will never find it, but sometimes i know i will never be happy, in that “soul meaning” of the word.I crushed in a life that drowns every bit of power whithin me, and i dont know a way out…i dont know i way to escape from it..i dont know how can i make what i want…

I’ll see you soon…

Si ce daca in viata nu e asa cum credeai ca va fi? in mare e vina ta nu? Dar stai si te gandesti in trecutul prafuit daca o chestie era schimbata, cum arata prezentul astazi, ma gandesc si imi fac in cap mii de schite, mii de vise neimplinite, si ma gandesc ca poate era mai bine sa fac unele lucruri altfel…dar imi trece..acum ce mai  pot face? Sunt implinnit ca totusi a fost frumos..vorbesc de parca ar fi sfarsitul vietii..intr-un fel e..dar o fi bine si asta? sau rau?mii de intrebari imi strabat capul, majoritatea insa nu isi gasesc nici un raspuns.As fi vrut sa imi pot cunoaste viitorul sa nu mai fac atat de multe greseli, dar nu o pot face.As fi vrut sa fiu mai atent la alegerile pe care le fac, dar nu sunt, sunt o persoana care se grabeste foarte mult si care nu are rabdare deloc, si astfel aleg cateodata tampenii.As vrea sa fiu o persoana puternica,sufleteste vorbind, chiar nu ma vad o masa de muschi:P, dar nici sufleteste nu sunt puternic.Duc o viata mediocra..nici prea bine..nici prea rau, cred ca in mare, fiind balanta ma caracterizeaza egalitatea, mediocritatea, dar aspir spre mai bine, si cateodata imi iese, dar atunci cand nu..incep sa gadesc negativ.Iar ma gaseste noaptea in fata net-ului, stand si incercand a imi da seama de fapt ce sunt,cine sunt si in mare ce vreau…Multe necunoscute..Nu reusesc sa imi gasesc locul deloc. Sunt pierdut intr-un loc pe care vad ca devine din ce in ce mai pustiu pentru mine..

i’ll see you soon…